I've had yet another one of those weekends where on Friday I had such a productive weekend planned out, when I planned on getting completely caught up on my work, but now its Sunday evening and I have accomplished absolutely nothing. Well, nothing productive. I did spend a good chunk of time which could have been spent on scholastic endeavors exploring sitemeter, where i learned a couple interesting tidbits.
First of all, apparently I live in the Ukraine. This is news to me as I have sadly, and not for lack of effort never traveled outside of the States. But sure enough, right there on the map of locations of visitors to my blog, was a little circle in the Ukraine labeled with my school's network. Huh.
Also, someone from a town 40 minutes away, where people I know live, has been reading this blog. As I stated in my first entry, I am looking for some level of anonymity on here, so it kinda freaks me out that someone I actually know might be reading this.
Also, someone in Florida is reading. And there's a couple dots in NYC. And then there's Crystal (I'm assuming) in Australia.
So in conclusion, this was truly a wasted weekend. I'm gonna go try and salvage it by being productive in the few hours that are left. Really, I am......
Yeah, right. I didn't even believe myself there.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Ritalin and Rockstar
Right now, across my schools very small campus, Gym Class Heroes are playing a concert in the campus auditorium. I don't love GCH, but they're not bad, and it would have been nice to have a little fun tonight. So why am I not at the concert? Because some genius (read: idiot) scheduled a concert on a Tuesday on a college campus that is the polar opposite of a party school, full of students who actually care a great deal about academics, and my evil Cell Biology professor rescheduled our exam for Wednesday morning. So instead of having fun like a 20 year old college student should, I am in my room doing the responsible thing- studying.
If this were a chemistry exam, I wouldn't be as worried and would totally be at the concert. In chemistry we have 7 exams per semester, they are usually steeply scaled, and our lowest exam grade gets dropped. In Cell Bio we have 3 exams, none of which get dropped, and none of which get scaled. at all. even if everyone fails. Also, the professor is notorious for putting questions on the exams about material that isn't in the text, and he only briefly mentioned in lecture.
So i'm sitting here, writing this as I chug Rockstar energy drinks and wait for the Ritalin I just took to kick in, wishing that I had chosen a less demanding major so that I could enjoy my college years. But I'll save my rant about the injustices Biochemistry majors must endure for another post- I can feel the Ritalin starting to kick in.
If this were a chemistry exam, I wouldn't be as worried and would totally be at the concert. In chemistry we have 7 exams per semester, they are usually steeply scaled, and our lowest exam grade gets dropped. In Cell Bio we have 3 exams, none of which get dropped, and none of which get scaled. at all. even if everyone fails. Also, the professor is notorious for putting questions on the exams about material that isn't in the text, and he only briefly mentioned in lecture.
So i'm sitting here, writing this as I chug Rockstar energy drinks and wait for the Ritalin I just took to kick in, wishing that I had chosen a less demanding major so that I could enjoy my college years. But I'll save my rant about the injustices Biochemistry majors must endure for another post- I can feel the Ritalin starting to kick in.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Insert Overused Emo Lyrics Here
So if I'm gonna be rambling on about myself, it would probably make things easier if I told you a little about myself so my ramblings can be put into context. So here we go:
-I am 20 years old
-I am a Biochemistry major at a University in Massachusetts which I absolutely love, but which costs $40,000 a year. Ergo, I am broke.
-I want a career in medical research.
-I was born with a birth defect called Spina Bifida (google it if you want details), and while I have enough function in my legs to walk short distances, I use a wheelchair to get around most of the time.
-I grew up in a small, conservative town and now go to a very liberal school in the city- it's amazing!
-As far as my sexual orientation goes, I have no fucking clue. I've never had much of a social life, dedicating most of my time to school, so I don't have any experience in the area to clarify things. My high school was not gay-friendly, and while I was friends with the few brave ones who came out in high school, I never felt comfortable enough to explore the possibility of being gay/bi. Now that I am in a much more welcoming environment, I've realized I'm probably at least bi, but I'm too busy with school to explore that possibility further. For the time being, I shall remain asexual.
-I have a real problem with procrastination. Right now I need to be studying for an Organic Chemistry exam, a Biochemistry quiz, writing a Cell Biology lab report, and finishing a Medical Ethics paper. Instead I am writing this.
-I am 20 years old
-I am a Biochemistry major at a University in Massachusetts which I absolutely love, but which costs $40,000 a year. Ergo, I am broke.
-I want a career in medical research.
-I was born with a birth defect called Spina Bifida (google it if you want details), and while I have enough function in my legs to walk short distances, I use a wheelchair to get around most of the time.
-I grew up in a small, conservative town and now go to a very liberal school in the city- it's amazing!
-As far as my sexual orientation goes, I have no fucking clue. I've never had much of a social life, dedicating most of my time to school, so I don't have any experience in the area to clarify things. My high school was not gay-friendly, and while I was friends with the few brave ones who came out in high school, I never felt comfortable enough to explore the possibility of being gay/bi. Now that I am in a much more welcoming environment, I've realized I'm probably at least bi, but I'm too busy with school to explore that possibility further. For the time being, I shall remain asexual.
-I have a real problem with procrastination. Right now I need to be studying for an Organic Chemistry exam, a Biochemistry quiz, writing a Cell Biology lab report, and finishing a Medical Ethics paper. Instead I am writing this.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Only the Good Die Young
I don't know if anyone is reading this, but right now I don't care. I need to get this out.
A year ago this past Friday my friend Adam died. He was only in my life for 3 months, but I am forever changed.
Adam was paralyzed from the chest down due to a snow mobile accident when he was a teenager. As the title of this blog suggests, I am also physically disabled. Adam and i met while working at a summer camp for disabled kids in Maine. He was everything I wanted to be- outgoing, happy, friendly, courageous. Logic would suggest that someone who was paralyzed in a snowmobile accident would be a somewhat cautious driver. Not Adam, he drove like a madman.
Adam was the perfect example of how everyone, not just people with physical disabilities, should live. He was fearless and never let his physical limitations get in the way of anything. He worked hard to get what he wanted, and never for a moment beleived that he wasn't able to.
During the summer of 2006, a year after I met him, Adam was in and out of the hospital for what I had assumed were minor, non-life-threatening procedures. I knew he was having the common complications such as bed sores and infection, but whenever I talked to his girlfriend it seemed like he was on the road to recovery. He was even gaining some function back in one of his arms.
Then one night in mid-September I checked my email and found an email saying that Adam had passed. I was shocked. How could such a strong person who I admired so much die at 27?
A year later and it seems like everyone has moved on. Our fellow co-workers don't mention him, his girlfriend is dating someone new. But I still think about him. And I don't want to ever stop remembering him. he will always be my inspiration, my hero. He will always be the greatest person I have ever known.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god couldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
A year ago this past Friday my friend Adam died. He was only in my life for 3 months, but I am forever changed.
Adam was paralyzed from the chest down due to a snow mobile accident when he was a teenager. As the title of this blog suggests, I am also physically disabled. Adam and i met while working at a summer camp for disabled kids in Maine. He was everything I wanted to be- outgoing, happy, friendly, courageous. Logic would suggest that someone who was paralyzed in a snowmobile accident would be a somewhat cautious driver. Not Adam, he drove like a madman.
Adam was the perfect example of how everyone, not just people with physical disabilities, should live. He was fearless and never let his physical limitations get in the way of anything. He worked hard to get what he wanted, and never for a moment beleived that he wasn't able to.
During the summer of 2006, a year after I met him, Adam was in and out of the hospital for what I had assumed were minor, non-life-threatening procedures. I knew he was having the common complications such as bed sores and infection, but whenever I talked to his girlfriend it seemed like he was on the road to recovery. He was even gaining some function back in one of his arms.
Then one night in mid-September I checked my email and found an email saying that Adam had passed. I was shocked. How could such a strong person who I admired so much die at 27?
A year later and it seems like everyone has moved on. Our fellow co-workers don't mention him, his girlfriend is dating someone new. But I still think about him. And I don't want to ever stop remembering him. he will always be my inspiration, my hero. He will always be the greatest person I have ever known.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god couldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Hello Cruel World
Up until I entered college, I had a therapist I went to on a regular basis. The frequency changed as my life changed, and the face of the therapist changed as I got older. When I started college, I had the brilliant idea to stop seeing a therapist. The past three years have been the most stressful of my life, and to deal with the stress I have made unsuspecting individuals in my life into stand-in therapists.
About 6 months ago I got sucked into this virtual blogging world. Back in high school I had a livejournal, but gave up on that when I graduated. I do, however remember the therapeutic experience of spilling my guts out into cyberland. So, you, my hypothetically existent readers are my new surrogate therapists.
I say hypothetically existent because I am not going to tell any of my real life friends about the existence of this blog. I can call them up any time and complain about my life. There's something more effective about getting feedback and empathy from strangers.
A little warning: this blog will not be filled with the same fascinating literary brilliance as found in the blogs seen on the blogroll to the side there. I'm a science major; I don't do creative writing. Also, since I'm not actively going to promote this blog in any way, I have no idea if anyone will find it and read it. So if you do find yourself reading these words, please leave a comment just so I know that someone out there is listening.
About 6 months ago I got sucked into this virtual blogging world. Back in high school I had a livejournal, but gave up on that when I graduated. I do, however remember the therapeutic experience of spilling my guts out into cyberland. So, you, my hypothetically existent readers are my new surrogate therapists.
I say hypothetically existent because I am not going to tell any of my real life friends about the existence of this blog. I can call them up any time and complain about my life. There's something more effective about getting feedback and empathy from strangers.
A little warning: this blog will not be filled with the same fascinating literary brilliance as found in the blogs seen on the blogroll to the side there. I'm a science major; I don't do creative writing. Also, since I'm not actively going to promote this blog in any way, I have no idea if anyone will find it and read it. So if you do find yourself reading these words, please leave a comment just so I know that someone out there is listening.
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